I had a conversation with my Worshipful Master just recently after lodge. We actually sat outside while it was getting colder and colder and still talked until I got a phone call from my cousin, Josh. We were talking about how we came into Freemasonry and where our lives are today and how much things have changed since becoming involved into the Craft.
Honestly, when I was a child I use to have these quite often. After I got older, not so much. It wasn't until I started my relationship with Emily that I started to have these moments again. It is almost as if she has been that turning point in my life to put me back on track, and how grateful I am to have her. She has been that supportive pillar through all of my antics. She supports my writing, she supports my crazy ideas and she is willing to follow me to any state I go after she finishes school. There is no doubt in my mind that since I met her, I am right on track with the Creator’s plan.
Even if you have never experienced a moment like this, or don’t believe in “deja vu” you still have to admit that you get a feeling that you are right on track. Today I got another feeling, but it wasn't “deja vu”. I was driving down the street and I had a funny feeling that I wasn't alone. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a man roughly in his 60’s sitting in my passenger seat with a cool looking 50’s, brown hair-do and a brown leather jacket. It could have been just my glasses playing a trick on me, but let me tell you about a man I know who wore that kind of jacket.
James Douglas Gardner was a caring man who loved his family and would go into debt to look after them. I remember hanging out with him watching some of my favorite movies, mostly just Independence Day starring Will Smith. I can remember going over to his place just to raid the pickle jars he made with the Gardner Family Recipe. I remember him taking time from his dialysis to come pick me up from school because I was stupid enough to get suspended. That was THE longest ride of my entire life even though it was only 5 minutes down the road. I also laugh just thinking about how my mom would ensure that he knew her presence was in the house—because she knew how many guns he had ready to go.
I also remember the day that I found out that my grandpa died. It was a tragic year for the United States. Not because I lost my grandfather, but the world of racing lost Dale Earnhardt in Daytona; just about a week after my grandfather’s death and of course later in the year we had the hijackings that led to the attacks on our nation. Like I said, it was a tragic year for the United States.
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| The last birthday I had with grandpa |
Everyone says they will remember where they were the day 9-11 happened. Well, I will remember everything about February 11th 2001. I woke up to a surprise—family members that usually don't associate themselves with each other, except for when they have to, were sitting in my living room talking quietly to each other. I felt something was wrong before I even knew they were in my house. I woke up with that feeling. I opened my door and there sat my uncle Jimmy, my aunt Lisa, my uncle Tommy, and my mother. I didn’t think anything of it, I just walked into the bathroom and used it and as I was walking out my mom caught me. She told me that my grandpa had passed away and I cried so hard literally my nose bled into my mom’s shirt.
Today, I know he is always with me, but I got a friendly little reminder from him just in case I forgot. In the corner of my eye I saw my grandpa sitting in my passenger seat, wearing his brown leather jacket and his perfectly combed brown hair—telling me he is proud. That my work and my dedication has made it to his eyes in that celestial lodge above, and that I am on the right path to what has been planned before me.
AG
